Zack Knotts, General Manager
I remember seeing that nameplate outside my office like it was yesterday. No office in the building came close to mine. Not only was it the biggest office, but there was a huge window that went from the top of the ceiling to the carpet. From there, I could look out to the practice field and see the team that I was the mastermind in assembling from top to bottom. Our All-Pro quarterback that I was responsible for drafting was taking the snaps, leading the offense through the final practice of the week on his way to another MVP season. This was the ultimate satisfaction. As I sat down at my desk, I looked down and on my right hand was one of the Super Bowl rings that cost more than the truck I drove to the facility. If only you could have felt the pride in the room beaming off my face. I took a glance at my left hand and I saw my wedding ring. This is when I paused. This is when I woke up from the dream.
I would often fantasize about things like this. For the longest time, my dream was to be a General Manager in the National Football League. My undergraduate degree is in Sports Administration, for crying out loud. All throughout college, I chased this dream and did whatever I could to attain it. Before my computer crashed, I had my own mock drafts and rankings dating back to high school. Nothing was going to stop me from being a General Manager. That is, until I saw that wedding ring on my left hand.
Even though I was a Christian at the time, I could not help but wonder how in the world would I be able to lead my family as Christ expects if I am spending 60-65 hours a week away from home in film studies on weeknights and luxury suites on Sundays? I would not be able to spend much time with my children in the Word or leading my family in worship. I would not spend nearly enough time with my precious wife as I desire to. How could I stand before the Lord knowing my children spent more time in NFL stadiums on Sunday than His house? Many men have somehow found a work/life balance that is sufficient for them, but the more I thought about how much I would be away from my family, the less I wanted to reach the NFL. That dream began to lose appeal quickly and eventually it was just gone. While I had always wanted to be a husband and a daddy, I no longer wanted or needed any other dream. Truthfully, this is all I wanted. I just want to be a husband and a daddy. That is my dream.
Two months from today, the Lord is going to bring to fulfillment that dream. My fiancée, Lindsay, is the epitome of the faithfulness of God in my life. She is truly the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, aside from Christ’s saving grace.
I love her deeply.
God knows I am ready to be her husband.
Right now, I am looking at the first picture of Lindsay and I that rests in a frame that says, “home is wherever I’m with you.” That is the truth! Home is wherever I am with her. One day, we will have our own home, our own children. They will all look up to me to lead them. They will forever be my most important ministry. No ministry outside of my home will ever come before them. Ever.
Instead of looking forward to building an NFL team, I am now looking forward to faithfully loving my wife as she deserves to be loved. I am looking forward to loving her in ways that I never knew I could love her. I am looking forward to having many children with her. I am looking forward to showing my sons what it looks like to love a woman and to be a husband. I am looking forward to showing my daughters how a man should treat his woman. I am looking forward to leading our family to Christ, in Christ, and for Christ.
“Now, therefore, fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and truth; and put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” -Joshua 24:14-15
For years this has been the verse I have kept in my heart. I understand what God expects of me in leading His daughter. I also understand I will not be perfect in that leadership. There will be many times when I fall short. That I am well aware of. I do know that being a husband and a father will have tremendous difficulties at times. But no matter what trials or persecutions come our way, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. My family will be led to Christ. I will work every day to provide for them their every need. I will do whatever is necessary of me. Being a husband and a father will be more sanctifying for me than anything else on this earth. I am looking forward to that immensely. God knows I need it. I know this will require much dying to self in ways I cannot fathom, but I am already equipped to do this because of He who dwells within me. I pray His grace will enable me when I am called to do so.
People have asked me if I am ready to be Lindsay’s husband, to which I always answer in a firm yes. I am so ready. This goes beyond sex or intimacy. While that is a big aspect of it, I want to love Lindsay like she has never been loved before. I want to spend every day with her. I want to be with my best friend and wake up beside her every day. I want to grow in Christ with her by my side. I want her to grow in Christ with me by her side. I want our children to see me love her every single day of their lives. Above all, I want Christ exalted through our marriage and family. This is for His glory. I do not want any praise, fame, or fortune. I do not need it. I have everything I need. I have Christ. And because He loves me, He brought to pass the dreams I had in my heart. The first dream comes true February 22, 2020, and that dream is you, Lindsay. The second will come to pass whenever the Lord so pleases.
This is my ministry. God has given me my heart’s desires. He exceeded anything I could have possibly imagined with Lindsay. I can only imagine what my love will be like for her in 5 years, 10 years, 25 years. I cannot wait to love her faithfully every day for the rest of our lives. I cannot wait to see her as a mother, and I tell her that all the time. She will be the best mother any child could ask for. I cannot wait to see our children running around our home in diapers and growing up in the fear of the Lord. Truly, I could not be happier. I have my God, my best friend and soon to be wife, and Lord willing, many children to come.
This has brought more fulfillment into my life than anything else this world could offer. The Lord has entrusted to me the most precious woman in the world. I will lead His daughter and our children faithfully, with lots of love, and I will point them to Jesus. “If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
P.S. Lindsay and I will have our first Christmas together this week, and I absolutely cannot wait to show her the gift I have for her. Hint: it fits entirely in an envelope. 🙂